We look up to those older than us to guide us, shelter us, and lead us along a safe path. What happens then, when those who used to take care of us can’t take care of themselves?

Realize it is inevitable

You cannot stop aging, despite the hundreds of pharmaceuticals that try to. So why fight it? So many people are scared to look at the wrinkles on a loved one’s face, see the gray hair, or think about the other’s aging in any way. When diseases of old age plague, we refuse to see the truth (“oh, he’s just forgetful” “She just couldn’t see because it was dark”) and it’s a cycle that needs to be broken. Accept that aging occurs as a natural part of life and then you can cope so much easier.

Find support

You can’t expect to shoulder the emotional turmoil of an aging loved one by yourself. You need to seek out someone to help you overcome what is ahead. There are multiple support groups both in person and online for those facing the trails of an aging relative. It is easy to feel like you are the only one going through this, especially when you are the lone caregiver, but remember, you are not alone.

Create a safety net

If you are not the primary caregiver to your relation and you cannot seem to get any peace of mind, invest in a safety net. Panic buttons, live in nurses, assisted living, and other options can give you the peace of mind you need and your loved one the help they may someday need. If your loved one refuses help like this, invest in a communication method your loved one is willing to take on. A large numbered cell phone with voice calling or operator service might be the portable way that you can both feel good without them feeling dependant.

Make the most of it

Our time on Earth is limited, so make the most out of the time you have with your relative. This can be hard, especially with some of the more heartbreaking aspects of aging (disease, dementia, etc), but is necessary. Take this time to reconnect and learn about when they were young. Don’t try to make up for years of neglect in a single afternoon, but take the time to learn about your parents, aunts, and grandparents.

The aging of a relative can destroy anyone. Try to stay positive and manage your situation as best as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a support group. Good luck and best wishes with your loved ones.