When you are passionate about something it can break your heart to hear that those close to you don’t share your zeal. What are you to do when those you love aren’t supporting you?

Evaluate

Why do they feel this way? Don’t assume, get out there and ask them. Is it their culture, religion, morals, or does it just go against what they thought would happen? Getting it out in the open will let you know from which angle you should attack the problem. Word of Warning: Don’t focus so much on evaluating that you don’t listen to their rational.

Educate

Once you know why they think the way they do, think about what areas they are falling short in. Are they living on an old stereotype? If so, educate them on the truth. Are they just scared of change? Assure them that this is a positive step for you, and give specific reasons why. Word of Warning: Be careful not to completely denounce their opinions. Blanket statements like “your just wrong” can close off your parents right away. Take it slow and try not to accuse anyone of anything.

Be Non-Judgmental

After you have educated your loved ones, let them ask questions without judgment. Make a deal, they can ask anything and you will answer honestly and neither of you can use it against each other. If they didn’t agree with you beforehand, they will most likely still need time to work it out in their minds. Be open to questions, comments, and concerns.

Leave

Once you’ve done all these steps, leave. Get out of there and let them think it over. You just inundated them with information. Let it all sink in before you make them decide again. This is also good if anyone loses their temper doing the previous steps. Just simply say, “We will talk about this again when we are all calm” and try again another day. Word of Warning: Don’t leave things alone for too long. A month or so without contact can cause ideas to fester instead of marinate.

Once you have completed all these steps, go back and readdress the issue. Be open to questions and be as open and honest as possible. If you simply cannot bring them to your side, try to agree to disagree. If that is not possible than weigh your opinions on what is better for you. If it is important enough to you, maybe they will come around in time.

Some final words of warning, if the thing you are disagreeing over involves another person—a partner or child for example—try to leave them out of it. The issue is between you and your loved one, there is no reason to put the object of disagreement in the middle of it all. This can be hard, because emotions seem to run deepest when another person is involved, but by leaving the object of the argument out of it you will encourage the disagreeing party to be open and honest without worrying about being judged.

Hopefully these tips will help you and your family find some peace and harmony.