And Now For Something Completely Different: Normally I don’t review things, be they products or movies or books or whatnot. Today I decided to make an exception since this has been an exceptional week for me. So anyway, I want to tell you about War, Inc.

Now I know that I briefly addressed this before on a rant about Hillary Duff, Disney, and Creepy crawlies, but that was before I actually saw the movie. This movie has one of my favorite acting pairs in it, John and Joan Cusack, so I was instantly intrigued. Joan does her best as an anal, uptight, undercover operative, while John plays beside her as a disturbed hot sauce drinker with a troubled past. The two of them take part in a fake trade show that is an excuse to bring John into the area in the Middle East known as Turagistan so he can kill a major political figure.

The figure happens to be Omar Sharif, the CEO of a major company in the Middle East. John Cusack, known as Brand in the movie, works for the CEO (and former president of the United States) who owns the company currently occupying Turagistan. In the mix are a young pop star, a reporter, and a lively cast of charecters who are larger than life. And oh yea, Hilary Duff? I would have never known she was in this movie. The persona she takes on is so hard, so out there, and such a sex kitten that I couldn’t see a hint of Lizzy MacGuire in there. It is not until Hilary’s character (Yonica) is exposed to the world as a young, lost girl.

The humor in this movie is the political satire within its lines. If you were completely socially ignorant, this would seem to be a serious action movie with some odd things tossed in. But for those of us who actually live in the present, things like GuideStar (a spoof on OnStar), Cusack’s Hot Sauce use, and the entire set up of the mock trade show will have you rolling in the aisles. Please, please, please, if you have any kind of liberal party identification, or a good sense of humor, watch this movie. You’ll defiantly think it is worth it. It comes to all theaters May 28th.

The Good: Four months ago a decision about the fate of the world’s polar bears was due. The Endangered Species Act dictates that animals be placed on lists according to population size. When an animal is placed on the “Threatened” list, actions are taken to limit hunting and increase populate. When they reach “Endangered” animals are considered in grave danger. The decision on polar bears is overdue, but it was delayed for political reasons.

Why was the decision postponed for four months? Officials were scared that placing polar bears on either list would lead to the “misuse” of the classification to expedite climate change. The verdict on Polar bears is that they are, in fact, threatened. The Secretary of the Interior though says that the decision “should not open the door to… regulate greenhouse gas emissions”. It makes me laugh to see that this administration is trying to prevent climate control this much. It is my hope that the polar bears being placed on this list will open doors to a marked change in how we use energy on a daily basis.

The Bad: A while ago I wrote about six sea lions that were found in cages, shot, on the Columbia River. These animals were being held in cages pending a decision by the courts as to the preservation of a rare fish species in the Columbia River. The case originally seemed cut and dry, a death by shooting, but necropsies showed that bullet wounds were not fatal. The question now is what killed these beautiful animals and if we can stop it from taking any more victims.

The Good: Going to the dentist is uncomfortable. Thankfully years ago Novocaine was created to help make the dentist less uncomfortable. Now, given my last dental procedure (getting some teeth pulled) was eight years ago, the lovely effects of this pain killer are not quite fresh in my mind. Despite this, I am sure many of you know that Novocaine, while an effective pain reliever, can leave your lips, gums, and tongue numb long after the actual procedure you are experiencing.

Familiar with the byproducts of Novocaine, Novalar Pharmaceuticals created a new wonder drug to remove the after effects of Novocaine. The drug, OraVerse, has been approved by the FDA and worked effectively in clinical trials on women and children. OraVerse isn’t for intravenous use, but has very few complications if injected into the gums.

Ambiguous News: I don’t know if this is a victory for the people or a loss for organized religion, hence why this is ambiguous news. A small Baptist church in Snellville, Georgia is advertising free gas for its parishioners. The sign posted outside the church, stating “Free Gasoline”, has led to swarms of calls inquiring to the catch. The catch is this, parishioners and newcomers receive a pink raffle ticket when they attend a church event between Sunday and Wednesday. These tickets are then entered into a raffle for two $500 gas cards. The ministers of the small church compare this to door-to-door revelations, and hope that this promotion will help bring troubled Americans back to the church. What do you think?